As most of you may know. J is in the military. He has been in for years, (almost 8) but I am fairly new to this lifestyle and as we are just engaged, I still have a lot to learn. But I wanted to share what I have learned so far being apart of this community.
Girlfriends are so important
Having a good base of friends is so important. You are all most likely away from your families so these people become your family. Its important to have a solid foundation. These ladies (and fellas) will be there when your significant others are away. You lean on each other, support each other, cry to each other, and help each other. They become your stand in spouse almost. They don’t replace or compete with your spouse but they are there to step up when your spouse physically can’t.
I am perpetually missing someone
This is a bittersweet realization, but in this lifestyle 9 times out of 10 you are missing at least one person. Whether it be your spouse, family, old friends, new friends, and everything in between, you always have someone in the back of your mind. I am not trying to sound melodramatic or to make it sound like a sad lifestyle. I see it as something so amazing and special. That I am so lucky to have this many strong bonds and relationships. That I have people all over the world that hold a special place in my heart and when we reunite its like not a second has passed nor a thing changed. Its poetic really. Missing people does not take away from my day to day, or my quality of life, I think in improves it. I cherish each and every moment I have with every person dear to me. We all should do that more.
PLAN PLAN PLAN, but remain flexible.
I am a major planner, not with actual planners but I like to think up 5-10 potential scenarios in my head in case things go wrong or get switched up. I have always been like this and it seems to be coming in handy in this lifestyle where things can drop at a hat. Plan, and then plan for adaptations. I usually write things out in a word document to keep track of all the plans I have going.
Volunteer, go to school, network, etc…
Now your spouse will be gone often. Its hard to get used to. Personally the see you laters never get easier because love continues to grow and grow. But being prepared with a plan, things to do, work to go to, can help you get used to this change a little easier. I try my best to keep busy. I work on my business, my blog, wedding planning, I make plans with friends, and I try to start new hobbies. Its important to have your own life as well and pursue your own goals, dreams, and aspirations.
Reach out and use resources!
This community has so many resources! (here is a great list connected to the photo above http://www.themilitarywifeandmom.com/resources-military-spouse/) I honestly do not even know half of them! From school and scholarships, to help with disabilities, to helping with career advice and job searching, the list goes on. I have some great friends who have almost become mentors to me, like big sisters. They are helping me learn so much about what there is out there since they have been there! I am so grateful for their help, knowledge, and insights. Strong, intelligent woman working hard right along side their men. I cherish these ladies and the help they give me everyday!
I feel I have learned so much already, but as I am so new to this life…I have a lot yet to learn. It can be overwhelming at some points, but it is all worth it because I get J.